Baking by Phone

 I remember several years ago when I lived in Fargo. Computers were new-not everyone had one. Cell phones were dreams only developers had. It was one of those dreary Saturday or Sunday afternoons I was hangin out in my apartment cleaning, watching movies and on this particular day, baking fudge brownies. Now I'm not an experienced cook by any means but these brownies were going to be the cure for my munchies. Peering through the tarnished oven door wondering if they were done, the phone rings. I could tell it was a much older lady as she asked for so-and-so. I politely told her she had the wrong number but, "I am baking brownies. Can you tell me how to tell if they're done or not?" "Why yes", was her reply. "Stick a fork or toothpick in the center and if it comes out clean, the brownies are done."
No names were exchanged. Nothing else was said. We hung up, both feeling a little better than moments before. Sometimes it really is the small things that make a difference.

My First Thanksgiving Away From Home

 I just finished Thanksgiving 2024. Memories of my first Thanksgiving alone passed through my mind most the day so tonight, I remember exactly what I was doing the day of Thursday November 23, 1978. I was on my way to Philadelphia. It was late afternoon when I got underway. I was driving a 1976 cabover Kenworth, faded green and white, with only the bare basic interior and pulling a 40 foot refrigerated semi trailer loaded with 40,000 of Spam. The name "Ellsworth" was on the side. Ellsworth was 1 of a couple trucking companies willing to hire new inexperienced drivers. I had just turned 22 years old, fresh out of trucking school where I graduated with a 98% grade; best ever in that class of anyone. I was long-haired, bearded, cowboy boots and cowboy hat, country boy kind of kid because that is the image I saw truck drivers as being. I soon learned it wasn't so common as TV made it out to be. Definitely not Smokey and the Bandit. I don't remember having a CB radio but I do remember the am\fm radio barely worked. The engine was cut back to 55mph, and that was downhill with the wind behind me and rode rough as a buckboard from the 1880's. 

I clearly remember the bumpy, hilly, drive across Wisconsin in the nighttime rain. I don't remember much more after that until my delivery. After unloaded, my next load was to be M&M's from Hershey. PA to East St. Louis. I got lucky finding the Hershey plant, loaded up with 40,000 pounds of M&M's and the gave me 2 giant bags of M&M chocolates and M&M Peanuts to snack on during the drive. I next remember having difficulty finding the warehouse in East St. Louis and driving in circles until I stumbled upon it.

I remember my next load was some kind of oil in drums from East St. Louis to Minnesota. When I got to the place to load, it was a blind back into the narrow dock off a small busy street. Being new, I can see I would spend forever trying to get backed in, IF I could at all. Fortunately for me there was a seasoned driver already there waiting to get loaded. We talked for a bit and he listened as I told of my fears and doubts of trying to get it backed up to the dock and asked him to hold up traffic while I tried. Nice guy took the sob story and offered to back it in for me. OK, that's not how it went. I gave him this sob story of being new and not good at backing at all and offered him $20 if he would back it in for me. He expertly backed it in to the dock like he had done it a hundred times before. Wow.. My jaw dropped and my eyes bulged out a little. This man was my hero and he refused to take my $20 too. Back north to the truck terminal in Eagle Grove, Iowa. Round trip; Minnesota to 2 stops in PA , then to St. Louis for 2 stops, then back to Iowa where I fought a snow storm and was probably one of the last trucks that would fit in the truck stop the night before I was to make it back to the terminal; 3 weeks, about 2,600 miles. I was beat and tired. and Broke. I went home and stalled for time until my paycheck came. $300 plus the $150 I drew for expenses on the road. I was hurt and disillusioned. Think about it. $450 for 3 weeks pay in a truck that pounds and bounces the common sense right out of you and only 2600 miles. I should be doing that in 1 week. I called and quit on the spot. It was less than a week later I met up with one of the instructors from the truck program who told me of a company called Elliott Brothers that needed a driver and he knows them and would put in a good word for me. I started work for Elliott Bros. Truck Lines the first week after Christmas 1978 in a shiny cab-over Kenworth with premium interior and painted green and yellow, like a Crayola box, and tops out at 72 mph. I like it there. They gave me a chance and I learned a lot and became good at my job. I was there for about 5 years pulling a flatbed with 4 foot grain sides and a tarp - commonly called "Covered Wagons" hauling bulk grain from Iowa to grain barges in Hennepin, IL and international ships in Chicago, then load steel back to the likes of John Deeres, Maytag, Lennox, and Waterloo Industries to name a few,

Ill probably elaborate on other memories with Elliott as they come up. It was there my love for truck driving intensely developed and I was recognized at being good at my job.

More later

Paradox

 First, let me say this is not my works. I remember many, many years ago I had this memorized and often recited it amongst friends. So how many years is many many? I honestly don't remember what time frame it was. My best guess would be my late teens to early 20's.

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    Ladies and gentlemen, hobos and tramps, cross-eyed mosquitoes, and bow-legged ants, I come before you to sit behind you and tell you a story I know nothing about. Admission is free, so pay at the door, pull out a chair, and sit on the floor

One sunny day in the middle of the night, two dead boys arose to fight. Back-to-back, they faced each other, drew their swords and shot each other. A mute man shrieked at the fright, and a lame man danced at the ghastly sight. A deaf policeman heard the noise and came to kill the two dead boys. If you don't believe this lie is true, ask the blind man, for he saw it too.

No Driving in the Ditches

 

I remember back my late teens I was working for a construction company. One morning, we’re on the highway, driving to the construction site out of town, and we’re behind a large box truck following a line of traffic that’s backed up because road construction up ahead. We’re just driving along about, I don’t know, 35 to 40 miles per hour, and suddenly, the straight truck shoots off to the right into the ditch and crashes. There were those few milliseconds that we wondered what was going on when we saw the line of traffic had come to a stop. Not paying attention or whatever, the truck driver did not respond or react soon enough, so he turned off suddenly into the ditch to avoid piling into the cars in front of him. We pulled over to the side and stopped and ran to the truck to see what we could do to help. The truck driver had a small gash on his forehead and was obviously shaken. I remember asking what he was hauling (thinking if it was hazardous). I don’t remember what he was hauling but it wasn’t hazardous. That’s all I remember of that event.

TV Dinners

 I remember as a child, TV dinners. I remember the commercials on TV, advertising them as a quick healthy alternative to cooking a 3 or 4 course meal. They carried the Banquet name and came in a aluminum tray with partitions for the main dish, side dish, and I think the 3rd was dessert. You cooked them in the oven, obviously, because microwave ovens weren't invented yet. I don't remember them tasting any different then they do now days and chicken with corn and mashed potatoes is the only one I remember-maybe because it was the only one I liked.