Paradox

 First, let me say this is not my works. I remember many, many years ago I had this memorized and often recited it amongst friends. So how many years is many many? I honestly don't remember what time frame it was. My best guess would be my late teens to early 20's.

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    Ladies and gentlemen, hobos and tramps, cross-eyed mosquitoes, and bow-legged ants, I come before you to sit behind you and tell you a story I know nothing about. Admission is free, so pay at the door, pull out a chair, and sit on the floor

One sunny day in the middle of the night, two dead boys arose to fight. Back-to-back, they faced each other, drew their swords and shot each other. A mute man shrieked at the fright, and a lame man danced at the ghastly sight. A deaf policeman heard the noise and came to kill the two dead boys. If you don't believe this lie is true, ask the blind man, for he saw it too.

TV Dinners

 I remember as a child, TV dinners. I remember the commercials on TV, advertising them as a quick healthy alternative to cooking a 3 or 4 course meal. They carried the Banquet name and came in a aluminum tray with partitions for the main dish, side dish, and I think the 3rd was dessert. You cooked them in the oven, obviously, because microwave ovens weren't invented yet. I don't remember them tasting any different then they do now days and chicken with corn and mashed potatoes is the only one I remember-maybe because it was the only one I liked.

My First Computer

 I remember my first computer. I purchased it from OfficeMax for about $300. November 1998. Fargo, ND. Packard Bell with 32 MB RAM.